UNSOLICITED ADVICE

The worse type of advice you can give or receive is unsolicited advice. This advice may be in-person, on the phone, through e-mail, or on blogs and tweets. The person giving this advice may truly only have the others persons best interest at heart, but their error lies in the fact that they really don't know what the recipient of this advice REALLY WANTS. While the person receiving the unsolicited advice thinks "who is this person that thinks they knows who I am and what I want better than me."

I think this type of behavior has developed in our society of multitasking. Surfing the internet, cell phones, fast food, e-mail, TV, video games, tweeting. I think most people today do not take the time to really understand the person they are giving unsolicited advice to. I know I have been guilty of this lack of focus on the other person on many many occasions.

 I have learned a couple of lessons around advice.

1. Do not offer advice unless you are specifically asked.
2. If you are offered unsolicited advice thank the person and know they are usually only trying to help.
3. If you are asked for advice, the next thing you should do is ask a question back to understand what the  person truly wants.

Some basic questions you can ask are:

What is your perspective about "this subject"?

What are your doing (or trying to do) now about "this subject"?

What type of advice would you like from me about "the subject"?

What is your goal around "this subject"?
Who else have you asked about "this subject"?

These are just a couple examples of some the types of questions that will help you understand where the person is coming from, and will allow you to know where to start with your advice. Now after asking your questions you may find out the person is just asking for advice to make conversation. So you now know this is just causal conversation. But understand that even in the casual conversation the more questions you ask about the person (the better you know them) and their preference, the better advice you can give.


Namaste

Kevin